User:zilly

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CT Tropes

Delivered for satirical purposes only.

Bad Gameplay

Your track handles like a wet sponge.

  • Too many boost panels (catching up is not allowed!)
  • Too many cannons (anything to make the game more automatic)
  • Loooooooooooong
  • Clearly only tested with Mach Bike
  • Boost panels on the obviously still-slower split path
  • Sticky road is not a substitute for smoothness
  • Jump pads for when fixed speed is not required
  • Bouncy Mushrooms in original tracks! Or you can just redesign..
  • Why you'd put that obstacle way out there? You know we're just going to take the lines
    • You put big obstacles on the lines? Meanie
  • I think this................. lags a little
  • That is not a turn. That is not what a turn looks like
  • You failed this section? DO IT AGAIN
  • Glitch? Eh, we'll fix it later
  • Pointless trick, because boost panel right after it
  • Slippery road in tight spaces, because the author hates you
  • You came out a little wide? You get a perpendicular wall
  • Th-th-this feels a bit-bit-bit bumpy
  • Don't you remember what these original Objects do if you can hit them?
  • You don't think that cannon/boost/item row is a bit too close to the finish line?
  • Why are these respawns so high?
    • Why are these respawns so low?
      • Why does this track have both!? Ones on steep hills are especially confusing!
  • You know respawns have slots, right?
  • Ugh, I was going to make that jump anyway, you meanie
  • Sideways cannons, because I don't feel like making proper transitions
  • Why is there a boost panel no one can reach, because of bumpiness?
  • Oh, NOW you decide I'm out of bounds
  • Nope, you can only take the slow route this lap
  • Well, it's not like we're able to check both ways before crossing the street
  • I hope you know that you move slower in the air than on land
    • Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalling
  • You may think you fixed the glitch, but you didn't!
  • Updated? Now it's even worse!
  • You've established a meta? Time to change all the rules with this update
  • You will never convince me that corkscrews are fun or interesting
  • Physics and sticky tricks go together like oil and water
  • My tires are 5 inches off the ground, so obviously this is a trick opportunity
  • Giant off-road shortcut that skips 10% of the track, especially near the end for maximum fun on lap 3
  • 1 lap tracks, because adaptation is banned
  • You can hop over trick-able cliffs to skip them! And fall. Use a ramp.
  • Track is clearly only designed for Time Trial mode
  • Boost panels that are as thick as an atom
  • Stop! Put that shuttle loop down! You do not know better!
  • Yes hello Lakitu, yes this first turn is way too early WOULD YOU KINDLY MOVE OUT OF MY SIGHT LINE
  • There's this revolutionary new invention called "3D hills and slopes", perhaps you haven't heard of it
  • I dipped my toes into the water, so therefore I am dead
  • Gameplay/Aesthetics, you can only have 1. Hm... pretty track.. :D

Unintuitive Layout

The curse of knowledge and complete lack of testing by people that are not you.

  • Blind turns
  • Direction-biased jumps
    • "Anywhere but the middle" jumps
  • Enemies that move 120+ KM/h
  • Of course the Bullet Bill has to drop me off mid-180° turn
  • Required tricking!
    • Required not tricking!
  • "No small people allowed" jumps
  • Oh sorry, you missed the road when it started getting randomly fenced? Go back around
  • A random obstacle appears in your path while you jump over a hill!
  • Where the heck do I go
  • Drop down by hitting a wall, losing all prior speed and be forced to rely on tricks or boost panels
  • The outermost pixel of your character touched the cliff? You fall off
  • Why is there so much open space? This isn't an adventure game
  • There's really no need to make a course absolutely bonkers. Really.
  • Enemies can't decide if they want to take tight lines or wide lines
  • Middle of the cannon is the only safe entry point
  • I can plow through this object with a Star in other games, but not this one, because the author was lazy and used cactus KCL
  • Super secret door game-winning shortcut that only the cool kids know about
  • Boost ramp isn't connected to the wall, which results in a fall boundary or an awkward skip
  • Don't you think the ramp and off-road are in reverse order?
  • Boost/trick ramp sends you too far, resulting in skipping the upcoming platform and falling

Bad Aesthetics

If my opinion is a piece of paper, your opinion is a similar piece of paper, but covered in brown sauce.

  • Portals or lazily-linked themes
  • Why does Bowser have so many not-castles again?
  • Entire course is made of right angles
  • I don't feel like decorating, so here's a sea and a bridge
  • I can download my own music, thank you
  • You know you can remove those nonworking replay cameras? Right?
  • Sideways flat slopes
  • Wait, wasn't that same texture off-road a few minutes ago?
    • Wait, this same texture is both road and wall?
  • Bouncy metal grates! Because that makes sense...
  • How else are they going to know my CT has fire in it?
  • Sunset track! I guess it has... stuff
  • Only smooth pavement should sound like smooth pavement
  • Unlicensed, forced ownership of a track to a Nintendo character
    • Rosalina doesn't love you
  • Mmmmmmmmmmmmmemes
  • Plagiarism in an "original track"
  • Bridges ≠ floating, paper-thin roads
  • Oh, that's not a real word? It is now
  • You're not supposed to go that way, but I didn't feel like hiring a fencer
  • No road UV mapping
  • Paper-thin concrete walls
  • Eh, we'll make it look interesting later
  • Wait, where is that coming from? It doesn't appear to have a source
  • Starting area walled in? Are you that worried about exploits?
  • What's the point of the 2nd layer of metal grid again?
  • Ground movement illusions
  • I know it's hard to choose a wall SFX, but sometimes a rock is just a rock
  • Realistic textures in a cartoony game
  • New tracks that belong in 2011
  • Oh look, another "Not Rainbow Road" course! What are the odds?
  • Cars are supposed to drive on the entire course, but I don't want that, so... this is awkward
  • Dark post-effects where you are required to wear night vision goggles to see what I've created
  • This is not a cave; this is a hexagonal tunnel

And for the most important one

  • Hey, maybe I just suck, but I'm going to blame the author for it anyway