User:Zilly

Introduction

hi i retired for like 4 years and forgot everything

Plans

you waited this long lol wait more

CT Tropes

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Delivered for satirical purposes only.

• Blind turns
• Too many boost panels (catching up is not allowed!)
• Too many cannons (anything to make the game more automatic)
• Portals or lazily-linked themes
• Loooooooooooong
• Enemies that move 120+ KM/h
• Boost panels on the obviously still-slower split path
• Sticky road is not a substitute for smoothness
• Jump pads for when fixed speed is not required
• Clearly only tested with Mach Bike
• Direction biased jumps
  • "Anywhere but the middle" jumps
• Why does Bowser have so many not-castles again?
• Of course the Bullet Bill has to drop me off mid-180° turn
• Entire course is made of right angles
• I can download my own music, thank you
• I don't feel like decorating, so here's a sea and a bridge
• Bouncy Mushrooms in original tracks! Or you can just redesign..
• Required tricking!
  • Required not tricking!
• "No small people allowed" jumps
• You know you can remove those nonworking replay cameras? Right?
• Sideways flat slopes
• Wait, wasn't that same texture off-road a few minutes ago?
  • Wait, this same texture is both road and wall?
• Th-th-this feels a bit-bit-bit bumpy
• Oh sorry, you missed the road when it started getting randomly fenced? Go back around
• Bouncy metal grates! Because that makes sense...
• How else are they going to know my CT has fire in it?
• Sunset track! I guess it has... stuff
• Only smooth pavement should sound like smooth pavement
• A random obstacle appears in your path while you jump over a hill!
• Unlicensed, forced ownership of a track to a Nintendo character
  • Rosalina doesn't love you
• Why you'd put that obstacle way out there? You know we're just going to take the lines
  • You put big obstacles on the lines? Meanie
• Mmmmmmmmmmmmmemes
• Plagiarism in an "original track"
• Where the heck do I go
• I think this................. lags a little
• That is not a turn. That is not what a turn looks like
• You failed this section? DO IT AGAIN
• Glitch? Eh, we'll fix it later
• Bridges =/= floating, paper-thin roads
• Oh, that's not a real word? It is now
• You're not supposed to go that way, but I didn't feel like hiring a fencer
• No road UV mapping
• Paper-thin concrete walls
• Pointless trick, because boost panel right after it
• Slippery road in tight spaces, because the author hates you
• Eh, we'll make it look interesting later
• Wait, where is that coming from? It doesn't appear to have a source
• You came out a little wide? You get a perpendicular wall
• Don't you remember what these original Objects do if you can hit them?
• Starting area walled in? Are you that worried about exploits?
• Drop down by hitting a wall, losing all prior speed and be forced to rely on tricks or boost panels
• What's the point of the 2nd layer of metal grid again?
• Ground movement illusions
• Well, it's not like we're able to check both ways before crossing the street
• I know it's hard to choose a wall SFX, but sometimes a rock is just a rock
• The outermost pixel of your character touched the cliff? You fall off
• Realistic textures in a cartoony game
• You don't think that cannon/boost/item row is a bit too close to the finish line?
• Boost ramp isn't connected to the wall, which results in a fall boundary or an awkward skip
• Why are these respawns so high?
  • Why are these respawns so low?
    • Why does this track have both!?
• Why is there so much open space? This isn't an adventure game
• Don't you think the ramp and off-road are in reverse order?
• Boost/trick ramp sends you too far, resulting in skipping the upcoming platform and falling
• Middle of the cannon is the only safe entry point
• You know respawns have slots, right?
• Ugh, I was going to make that jump anyway, you meanie
• Sideways cannons, because I don't feel like making proper transitions
• There's really no need to make a course absolutely bonkers. Really.
• Enemies can't decide if they want to take tight lines or wide lines
• Why is there a boost panel no one can reach, because of bumpiness?
• Oh, now you decide I'm out of bounds
• New tracks that belong in 2011
• Nope, you can only take the slow route this lap
• I hope you know that you move slower in the air than on land
  • Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalling
• You may think you fixed the glitch, but you didn't!
• Now it's even worse!
• You've established a meta? Time to change all the rules with this update
• You will never convince me that corkscrews are fun or interesting

And for the most important one:

• Hey, maybe I just suck, but I'm going to blame the author for it anyway

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