Difference between revisions of "User:Zilly"
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==CT Tropes== | ==CT Tropes== | ||
| − | |||
'''''Delivered for satirical purposes only.''''' | '''''Delivered for satirical purposes only.''''' | ||
| − | + | Bad Gameplay: your track plays like a wet sponge and here's why | |
| − | * Too many boost panels (catching up is | + | |
| − | * Too many cannons (anything to make the game more automatic) | + | *Too many boost panels (catching up is not allowed!) |
| − | + | *Too many cannons (anything to make the game more automatic) | |
| − | * Loooooooooooong | + | *Loooooooooooong |
| − | * | + | *Clearly only tested with Mach Bike |
| − | * Boost panels on the obviously still-slower split path | + | *Boost panels on the obviously still-slower split path |
| − | * Sticky road is not a substitute for smoothness | + | *Sticky road is not a substitute for smoothness |
| − | * Jump pads for when fixed speed is not required | + | *Jump pads for when fixed speed is not required |
| − | * | + | *Bouncy Mushrooms in original tracks! Or you can just redesign.. |
| − | + | *Why you'd put that obstacle way out there? You know we're just going to take the lines | |
| − | + | **You put big obstacles on the lines? Meanie | |
| − | * Why | + | *I think this................. lags a little |
| − | * | + | *That is not a turn. That is not what a turn looks like |
| − | * | + | *You failed this section? DO IT AGAIN |
| − | * | + | *Glitch? Eh, we'll fix it later |
| − | * | + | *Pointless trick, because boost panel right after it |
| − | * | + | *Slippery road in tight spaces, because the author hates you |
| − | * | + | *You came out a little wide? You get a perpendicular wall |
| − | ** | + | *Th-th-this feels a bit-bit-bit bumpy |
| − | * | + | *Don't you remember what these original Objects do if you can hit them? |
| − | + | *You don't think that cannon/boost/item row is a bit too close to the finish line? | |
| − | * | + | *Why are these respawns so high? |
| − | + | **Why are these respawns so low? | |
| − | * | + | ***Why does this track have both!? |
| − | * | + | ****Why is this slope respawn both high and low for different racers!? Did you seriously not set an X rotation? |
| − | * | + | *You know respawns have slots, right? |
| − | * | + | *Ugh, I was going to make that jump anyway, you meanie |
| − | * | + | *Sideways cannons, because I don't feel like making proper transitions |
| − | * | + | *Why is there a boost panel no one can reach, because of bumpiness? |
| − | * | + | *Oh, now you decide I'm out of bounds |
| − | * | + | *Nope, you can only take the slow route this lap |
| − | + | *I hope you know that you move slower in the air than on land | |
| − | ** | + | **Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalling |
| − | * | + | *You may think you fixed the glitch, but you didn't! |
| − | ** You | + | *Now it's even worse! |
| − | * | + | *You've established a meta? Time to change all the rules with this update |
| − | + | *You will never convince me that corkscrews are fun or interesting | |
| − | * | + | *Physics and sticky tricks go together like oil and water |
| − | * | + | *My tires are 5 inches off the ground, so obviously this is a trick opportunity |
| − | * | + | *Giant off-road shortcut that skips 10% of the track, especially near the end for maximum fun on lap 3 |
| − | * | + | *1 lap tracks, because adaptation is banned |
| − | * | + | *I'm not remaking my BRRES again, so deal with it |
| − | * | + | *You can hop over trick-able cliffs to skip them! And fall. Use a ramp. |
| − | * | + | *Track is clearly only designed for Time Trial mode |
| − | * You | + | *Boost panels that are as thick as an atom |
| − | * | + | *Stop! Put that shuttle loop down! You do not know better! |
| − | * | + | *Yes hello Lakitu, yes this first turn is way too early WOULD YOU KINDLY MOVE OUT OF MY SIGHT LINE |
| − | * | + | *There's this revolutionary new invention called "3D hills and slopes", perhaps you haven't heard of it |
| − | * | + | |
| − | * | + | |
| − | * | + | Unintuitive Layout: the curse of knowledge and complete lack of testing by people that are not you |
| − | * | + | |
| − | * | + | *Blind turns |
| − | * | + | *Direction-biased jumps |
| − | * | + | **"Anywhere but the middle" jumps |
| − | * | + | *Enemies that move 120+ KM/h |
| − | * | + | *Of course the Bullet Bill has to drop me off mid-180° turn |
| − | + | *Required tricking! | |
| − | * | + | **Required not tricking! |
| − | + | *"No small people allowed" jumps | |
| − | * | + | *Oh sorry, you missed the road when it started getting randomly fenced? Go back around |
| − | * | + | *A random obstacle appears in your path while you jump over a hill! |
| − | * | + | *Where the heck do I go |
| − | * | + | *Drop down by hitting a wall, losing all prior speed and be forced to rely on tricks or boost panels |
| − | * | + | *The outermost pixel of your character touched the cliff? You fall off |
| − | * | + | *Why is there so much open space? This isn't an adventure game |
| − | * | + | *There's really no need to make a course absolutely bonkers. Really. |
| − | * | + | *Enemies can't decide if they want to take tight lines or wide lines |
| − | * | + | *Middle of the cannon is the only safe entry point |
| − | * | + | *I can plow through this object with a Star in other games, but not this one, because the author was lazy and used cactus KCL |
| − | * | + | *Super secret door game-winning shortcut that only the cool kids know about |
| − | * You know | + | *Boost ramp isn't connected to the wall, which results in a fall boundary or an awkward skip |
| − | * | + | *Don't you think the ramp and off-road are in reverse order? |
| − | * | + | *Boost/trick ramp sends you too far, resulting in skipping the upcoming platform and falling |
| − | + | ||
| − | * | + | |
| − | * | + | Bad Aesthetics: if my opinion is a piece of paper, your opinion is a similar piece of paper, but covered in brown sauce |
| − | * | + | |
| − | * | + | *Portals or lazily-linked themes |
| − | + | *Why does Bowser have so many not-castles again? | |
| − | * I | + | *Entire course is made of right angles |
| − | * | + | *I don't feel like decorating, so here's a sea and a bridge |
| − | * | + | *I can download my own music, thank you |
| − | * | + | *You know you can remove those nonworking replay cameras? Right? |
| − | * | + | *Sideways flat slopes |
| − | * | + | *Wait, wasn't that same texture off-road a few minutes ago? |
| − | * | + | **Wait, this same texture is both road and wall? |
| − | * | + | *Bouncy metal grates! Because that makes sense... |
| − | * | + | *How else are they going to know my CT has fire in it? |
| − | * | + | *Sunset track! I guess it has... stuff |
| − | * | + | *Only smooth pavement should sound like smooth pavement |
| − | + | *Unlicensed, forced ownership of a track to a Nintendo character | |
| − | * | + | **Rosalina doesn't love you |
| − | * | + | *Mmmmmmmmmmmmmemes |
| − | * | + | *Plagiarism in an "original track" |
| − | * | + | *Bridges ≠ floating, paper-thin roads |
| − | * | + | *Oh, that's not a real word? It is now |
| − | * | + | *You're not supposed to go that way, but I didn't feel like hiring a fencer |
| − | + | *No road UV mapping | |
| − | * | + | *Paper-thin concrete walls |
| − | * | + | *Eh, we'll make it look interesting later |
| − | * | + | *Wait, where is that coming from? It doesn't appear to have a source |
| − | * This is not a cave; this is a hexagonal tunnel | + | *Starting area walled in? Are you that worried about exploits? |
| + | *What's the point of the 2nd layer of metal grid again? | ||
| + | *Ground movement illusions | ||
| + | *Well, it's not like we're able to check both ways before crossing the street | ||
| + | *I know it's hard to choose a wall SFX, but sometimes a rock is just a rock | ||
| + | *Realistic textures in a cartoony game | ||
| + | *New tracks that belong in 2011 | ||
| + | *Oh look, another "Not Rainbow Road" course! What are the odds? | ||
| + | *Cars are supposed to drive on the entire course, but I don't want that, so... this is awkward | ||
| + | *Dark post-effects where you are required to wear night vision goggles to see what I've created | ||
| + | *This is not a cave; this is a hexagonal tunnel | ||
| + | |||
And for the '''most''' important one: | And for the '''most''' important one: | ||
| + | |||
* Hey, maybe I just suck, but I'm going to blame the author for it anyway | * Hey, maybe I just suck, but I'm going to blame the author for it anyway | ||
| − | |||
{{User-Zilla-Link}} | {{User-Zilla-Link}} | ||
Revision as of 23:19, 23 December 2019
| Avatar: | 150px |
|---|---|
| Twitter: | @_ZlLLA |
Introduction
hi i retired for like 4 years and forgot everything
Plans
CT Tropes
Delivered for satirical purposes only.
Bad Gameplay: your track plays like a wet sponge and here's why
- Too many boost panels (catching up is not allowed!)
- Too many cannons (anything to make the game more automatic)
- Loooooooooooong
- Clearly only tested with Mach Bike
- Boost panels on the obviously still-slower split path
- Sticky road is not a substitute for smoothness
- Jump pads for when fixed speed is not required
- Bouncy Mushrooms in original tracks! Or you can just redesign..
- Why you'd put that obstacle way out there? You know we're just going to take the lines
- You put big obstacles on the lines? Meanie
- I think this................. lags a little
- That is not a turn. That is not what a turn looks like
- You failed this section? DO IT AGAIN
- Glitch? Eh, we'll fix it later
- Pointless trick, because boost panel right after it
- Slippery road in tight spaces, because the author hates you
- You came out a little wide? You get a perpendicular wall
- Th-th-this feels a bit-bit-bit bumpy
- Don't you remember what these original Objects do if you can hit them?
- You don't think that cannon/boost/item row is a bit too close to the finish line?
- Why are these respawns so high?
- Why are these respawns so low?
- Why does this track have both!?
- Why is this slope respawn both high and low for different racers!? Did you seriously not set an X rotation?
- Why does this track have both!?
- Why are these respawns so low?
- You know respawns have slots, right?
- Ugh, I was going to make that jump anyway, you meanie
- Sideways cannons, because I don't feel like making proper transitions
- Why is there a boost panel no one can reach, because of bumpiness?
- Oh, now you decide I'm out of bounds
- Nope, you can only take the slow route this lap
- I hope you know that you move slower in the air than on land
- Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalling
- You may think you fixed the glitch, but you didn't!
- Now it's even worse!
- You've established a meta? Time to change all the rules with this update
- You will never convince me that corkscrews are fun or interesting
- Physics and sticky tricks go together like oil and water
- My tires are 5 inches off the ground, so obviously this is a trick opportunity
- Giant off-road shortcut that skips 10% of the track, especially near the end for maximum fun on lap 3
- 1 lap tracks, because adaptation is banned
- I'm not remaking my BRRES again, so deal with it
- You can hop over trick-able cliffs to skip them! And fall. Use a ramp.
- Track is clearly only designed for Time Trial mode
- Boost panels that are as thick as an atom
- Stop! Put that shuttle loop down! You do not know better!
- Yes hello Lakitu, yes this first turn is way too early WOULD YOU KINDLY MOVE OUT OF MY SIGHT LINE
- There's this revolutionary new invention called "3D hills and slopes", perhaps you haven't heard of it
Unintuitive Layout: the curse of knowledge and complete lack of testing by people that are not you
- Blind turns
- Direction-biased jumps
- "Anywhere but the middle" jumps
- Enemies that move 120+ KM/h
- Of course the Bullet Bill has to drop me off mid-180° turn
- Required tricking!
- Required not tricking!
- "No small people allowed" jumps
- Oh sorry, you missed the road when it started getting randomly fenced? Go back around
- A random obstacle appears in your path while you jump over a hill!
- Where the heck do I go
- Drop down by hitting a wall, losing all prior speed and be forced to rely on tricks or boost panels
- The outermost pixel of your character touched the cliff? You fall off
- Why is there so much open space? This isn't an adventure game
- There's really no need to make a course absolutely bonkers. Really.
- Enemies can't decide if they want to take tight lines or wide lines
- Middle of the cannon is the only safe entry point
- I can plow through this object with a Star in other games, but not this one, because the author was lazy and used cactus KCL
- Super secret door game-winning shortcut that only the cool kids know about
- Boost ramp isn't connected to the wall, which results in a fall boundary or an awkward skip
- Don't you think the ramp and off-road are in reverse order?
- Boost/trick ramp sends you too far, resulting in skipping the upcoming platform and falling
Bad Aesthetics: if my opinion is a piece of paper, your opinion is a similar piece of paper, but covered in brown sauce
- Portals or lazily-linked themes
- Why does Bowser have so many not-castles again?
- Entire course is made of right angles
- I don't feel like decorating, so here's a sea and a bridge
- I can download my own music, thank you
- You know you can remove those nonworking replay cameras? Right?
- Sideways flat slopes
- Wait, wasn't that same texture off-road a few minutes ago?
- Wait, this same texture is both road and wall?
- Bouncy metal grates! Because that makes sense...
- How else are they going to know my CT has fire in it?
- Sunset track! I guess it has... stuff
- Only smooth pavement should sound like smooth pavement
- Unlicensed, forced ownership of a track to a Nintendo character
- Rosalina doesn't love you
- Mmmmmmmmmmmmmemes
- Plagiarism in an "original track"
- Bridges ≠ floating, paper-thin roads
- Oh, that's not a real word? It is now
- You're not supposed to go that way, but I didn't feel like hiring a fencer
- No road UV mapping
- Paper-thin concrete walls
- Eh, we'll make it look interesting later
- Wait, where is that coming from? It doesn't appear to have a source
- Starting area walled in? Are you that worried about exploits?
- What's the point of the 2nd layer of metal grid again?
- Ground movement illusions
- Well, it's not like we're able to check both ways before crossing the street
- I know it's hard to choose a wall SFX, but sometimes a rock is just a rock
- Realistic textures in a cartoony game
- New tracks that belong in 2011
- Oh look, another "Not Rainbow Road" course! What are the odds?
- Cars are supposed to drive on the entire course, but I don't want that, so... this is awkward
- Dark post-effects where you are required to wear night vision goggles to see what I've created
- This is not a cave; this is a hexagonal tunnel
And for the most important one:
- Hey, maybe I just suck, but I'm going to blame the author for it anyway