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==Plans== | ==Plans== | ||
| − | + | *[[Haunted Woods]] v2 | |
==CT Tropes== | ==CT Tropes== | ||
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'''''Delivered for satirical purposes only.''''' | '''''Delivered for satirical purposes only.''''' | ||
| − | + | === Bad Gameplay === | |
| − | + | '''Your track handles like a wet sponge.''' | |
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| − | And for the ''' | + | *Too many boost panels (catching up is not allowed!) |
| + | *Too many cannons (anything to make the game more automatic) | ||
| + | *Loooooooooooong | ||
| + | *Clearly only tested with Mach Bike | ||
| + | *Boost panels on the obviously still-slower split path | ||
| + | *Sticky road is not a substitute for smoothness | ||
| + | *Jump pads for when fixed speed is not required | ||
| + | *Bouncy Mushrooms in original tracks! Or you can just redesign.. | ||
| + | *Why you'd put that obstacle way out there? You know we're just going to take the lines | ||
| + | **You put big obstacles on the lines? Meanie | ||
| + | *I think this................. lags a little | ||
| + | *That is not a turn. That is not what a turn looks like | ||
| + | *You failed this section? DO IT AGAIN | ||
| + | *Glitch? Eh, we'll fix it later | ||
| + | *Pointless trick, because boost panel right after it | ||
| + | *Slippery road in tight spaces, because the author hates you | ||
| + | *You came out a little wide? You get a perpendicular wall | ||
| + | *Th-th-this feels a bit-bit-bit bumpy | ||
| + | *Don't you remember what these original Objects do if you can hit them? | ||
| + | *You don't think that cannon/boost/item row is a bit too close to the finish line? | ||
| + | *Why are these respawns so high? | ||
| + | **Why are these respawns so low? | ||
| + | ***Why does this track have both!? Ones on steep hills are especially confusing! | ||
| + | *You know respawns have slots, right? | ||
| + | *Ugh, I was going to make that jump anyway, you meanie | ||
| + | *Sideways cannons, because I don't feel like making proper transitions | ||
| + | *Why is there a boost panel no one can reach, because of bumpiness? | ||
| + | *Oh, now you decide I'm out of bounds | ||
| + | *Nope, you can only take the slow route this lap | ||
| + | *Well, it's not like we're able to check both ways before crossing the street | ||
| + | *I hope you know that you move slower in the air than on land | ||
| + | **Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalling | ||
| + | *You may think you fixed the glitch, but you didn't! | ||
| + | *Now it's even worse! | ||
| + | *You've established a meta? Time to change all the rules with this update | ||
| + | *You will never convince me that corkscrews are fun or interesting | ||
| + | *Physics and sticky tricks go together like oil and water | ||
| + | *My tires are 5 inches off the ground, so obviously this is a trick opportunity | ||
| + | *Giant off-road shortcut that skips 10% of the track, especially near the end for maximum fun on lap 3 | ||
| + | *1 lap tracks, because adaptation is banned | ||
| + | *I'm not remaking my BRRES again, so deal with it | ||
| + | *You can hop over trick-able cliffs to skip them! And fall. Use a ramp. | ||
| + | *Track is clearly only designed for Time Trial mode | ||
| + | *Boost panels that are as thick as an atom | ||
| + | *Stop! Put that shuttle loop down! You do not know better! | ||
| + | *Yes hello Lakitu, yes this first turn is way too early WOULD YOU KINDLY MOVE OUT OF MY SIGHT LINE | ||
| + | *There's this revolutionary new invention called "3D hills and slopes", perhaps you haven't heard of it | ||
| + | |||
| + | === Unintuitive Layout === | ||
| + | '''The curse of knowledge and complete lack of testing by people that are not you.''' | ||
| + | |||
| + | *Blind turns | ||
| + | *Direction-biased jumps | ||
| + | **"Anywhere but the middle" jumps | ||
| + | *Enemies that move 120+ KM/h | ||
| + | *Of course the Bullet Bill has to drop me off mid-180° turn | ||
| + | *Required tricking! | ||
| + | **Required not tricking! | ||
| + | *"No small people allowed" jumps | ||
| + | *Oh sorry, you missed the road when it started getting randomly fenced? Go back around | ||
| + | *A random obstacle appears in your path while you jump over a hill! | ||
| + | *Where the heck do I go | ||
| + | *Drop down by hitting a wall, losing all prior speed and be forced to rely on tricks or boost panels | ||
| + | *The outermost pixel of your character touched the cliff? You fall off | ||
| + | *Why is there so much open space? This isn't an adventure game | ||
| + | *There's really no need to make a course absolutely bonkers. Really. | ||
| + | *Enemies can't decide if they want to take tight lines or wide lines | ||
| + | *Middle of the cannon is the only safe entry point | ||
| + | *I can plow through this object with a Star in other games, but not this one, because the author was lazy and used cactus KCL | ||
| + | *Super secret door game-winning shortcut that only the cool kids know about | ||
| + | *Boost ramp isn't connected to the wall, which results in a fall boundary or an awkward skip | ||
| + | *Don't you think the ramp and off-road are in reverse order? | ||
| + | *Boost/trick ramp sends you too far, resulting in skipping the upcoming platform and falling | ||
| + | |||
| + | === Bad Aesthetics === | ||
| + | '''If my opinion is a piece of paper, your opinion is a similar piece of paper, but covered in brown sauce.''' | ||
| + | |||
| + | *Portals or lazily-linked themes | ||
| + | *Why does Bowser have so many not-castles again? | ||
| + | *Entire course is made of right angles | ||
| + | *I don't feel like decorating, so here's a sea and a bridge | ||
| + | *I can download my own music, thank you | ||
| + | *You know you can remove those nonworking replay cameras? Right? | ||
| + | *Sideways flat slopes | ||
| + | *Wait, wasn't that same texture off-road a few minutes ago? | ||
| + | **Wait, this same texture is both road and wall? | ||
| + | *Bouncy metal grates! Because that makes sense... | ||
| + | *How else are they going to know my CT has fire in it? | ||
| + | *Sunset track! I guess it has... stuff | ||
| + | *Only smooth pavement should sound like smooth pavement | ||
| + | *Unlicensed, forced ownership of a track to a Nintendo character | ||
| + | **Rosalina doesn't love you | ||
| + | *Mmmmmmmmmmmmmemes | ||
| + | *Plagiarism in an "original track" | ||
| + | *Bridges ≠ floating, paper-thin roads | ||
| + | *Oh, that's not a real word? It is now | ||
| + | *You're not supposed to go that way, but I didn't feel like hiring a fencer | ||
| + | *No road UV mapping | ||
| + | *Paper-thin concrete walls | ||
| + | *Eh, we'll make it look interesting later | ||
| + | *Wait, where is that coming from? It doesn't appear to have a source | ||
| + | *Starting area walled in? Are you that worried about exploits? | ||
| + | *What's the point of the 2nd layer of metal grid again? | ||
| + | *Ground movement illusions | ||
| + | *I know it's hard to choose a wall SFX, but sometimes a rock is just a rock | ||
| + | *Realistic textures in a cartoony game | ||
| + | *New tracks that belong in 2011 | ||
| + | *Oh look, another "Not Rainbow Road" course! What are the odds? | ||
| + | *Cars are supposed to drive on the entire course, but I don't want that, so... this is awkward | ||
| + | *Dark post-effects where you are required to wear night vision goggles to see what I've created | ||
| + | *This is not a cave; this is a hexagonal tunnel | ||
| + | |||
| + | === And for the most important one === | ||
* Hey, maybe I just suck, but I'm going to blame the author for it anyway | * Hey, maybe I just suck, but I'm going to blame the author for it anyway | ||
| − | |||
{{User-Zilla-Link}} | {{User-Zilla-Link}} | ||
Revision as of 03:09, 31 December 2019
| Avatar: | 150px |
|---|---|
| Twitter: | @_ZlLLA |
Introduction
hi i retired for like 4 years and forgot everything
Plans
CT Tropes
Delivered for satirical purposes only.
Bad Gameplay
Your track handles like a wet sponge.
- Too many boost panels (catching up is not allowed!)
- Too many cannons (anything to make the game more automatic)
- Loooooooooooong
- Clearly only tested with Mach Bike
- Boost panels on the obviously still-slower split path
- Sticky road is not a substitute for smoothness
- Jump pads for when fixed speed is not required
- Bouncy Mushrooms in original tracks! Or you can just redesign..
- Why you'd put that obstacle way out there? You know we're just going to take the lines
- You put big obstacles on the lines? Meanie
- I think this................. lags a little
- That is not a turn. That is not what a turn looks like
- You failed this section? DO IT AGAIN
- Glitch? Eh, we'll fix it later
- Pointless trick, because boost panel right after it
- Slippery road in tight spaces, because the author hates you
- You came out a little wide? You get a perpendicular wall
- Th-th-this feels a bit-bit-bit bumpy
- Don't you remember what these original Objects do if you can hit them?
- You don't think that cannon/boost/item row is a bit too close to the finish line?
- Why are these respawns so high?
- Why are these respawns so low?
- Why does this track have both!? Ones on steep hills are especially confusing!
- Why are these respawns so low?
- You know respawns have slots, right?
- Ugh, I was going to make that jump anyway, you meanie
- Sideways cannons, because I don't feel like making proper transitions
- Why is there a boost panel no one can reach, because of bumpiness?
- Oh, now you decide I'm out of bounds
- Nope, you can only take the slow route this lap
- Well, it's not like we're able to check both ways before crossing the street
- I hope you know that you move slower in the air than on land
- Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalling
- You may think you fixed the glitch, but you didn't!
- Now it's even worse!
- You've established a meta? Time to change all the rules with this update
- You will never convince me that corkscrews are fun or interesting
- Physics and sticky tricks go together like oil and water
- My tires are 5 inches off the ground, so obviously this is a trick opportunity
- Giant off-road shortcut that skips 10% of the track, especially near the end for maximum fun on lap 3
- 1 lap tracks, because adaptation is banned
- I'm not remaking my BRRES again, so deal with it
- You can hop over trick-able cliffs to skip them! And fall. Use a ramp.
- Track is clearly only designed for Time Trial mode
- Boost panels that are as thick as an atom
- Stop! Put that shuttle loop down! You do not know better!
- Yes hello Lakitu, yes this first turn is way too early WOULD YOU KINDLY MOVE OUT OF MY SIGHT LINE
- There's this revolutionary new invention called "3D hills and slopes", perhaps you haven't heard of it
Unintuitive Layout
The curse of knowledge and complete lack of testing by people that are not you.
- Blind turns
- Direction-biased jumps
- "Anywhere but the middle" jumps
- Enemies that move 120+ KM/h
- Of course the Bullet Bill has to drop me off mid-180° turn
- Required tricking!
- Required not tricking!
- "No small people allowed" jumps
- Oh sorry, you missed the road when it started getting randomly fenced? Go back around
- A random obstacle appears in your path while you jump over a hill!
- Where the heck do I go
- Drop down by hitting a wall, losing all prior speed and be forced to rely on tricks or boost panels
- The outermost pixel of your character touched the cliff? You fall off
- Why is there so much open space? This isn't an adventure game
- There's really no need to make a course absolutely bonkers. Really.
- Enemies can't decide if they want to take tight lines or wide lines
- Middle of the cannon is the only safe entry point
- I can plow through this object with a Star in other games, but not this one, because the author was lazy and used cactus KCL
- Super secret door game-winning shortcut that only the cool kids know about
- Boost ramp isn't connected to the wall, which results in a fall boundary or an awkward skip
- Don't you think the ramp and off-road are in reverse order?
- Boost/trick ramp sends you too far, resulting in skipping the upcoming platform and falling
Bad Aesthetics
If my opinion is a piece of paper, your opinion is a similar piece of paper, but covered in brown sauce.
- Portals or lazily-linked themes
- Why does Bowser have so many not-castles again?
- Entire course is made of right angles
- I don't feel like decorating, so here's a sea and a bridge
- I can download my own music, thank you
- You know you can remove those nonworking replay cameras? Right?
- Sideways flat slopes
- Wait, wasn't that same texture off-road a few minutes ago?
- Wait, this same texture is both road and wall?
- Bouncy metal grates! Because that makes sense...
- How else are they going to know my CT has fire in it?
- Sunset track! I guess it has... stuff
- Only smooth pavement should sound like smooth pavement
- Unlicensed, forced ownership of a track to a Nintendo character
- Rosalina doesn't love you
- Mmmmmmmmmmmmmemes
- Plagiarism in an "original track"
- Bridges ≠ floating, paper-thin roads
- Oh, that's not a real word? It is now
- You're not supposed to go that way, but I didn't feel like hiring a fencer
- No road UV mapping
- Paper-thin concrete walls
- Eh, we'll make it look interesting later
- Wait, where is that coming from? It doesn't appear to have a source
- Starting area walled in? Are you that worried about exploits?
- What's the point of the 2nd layer of metal grid again?
- Ground movement illusions
- I know it's hard to choose a wall SFX, but sometimes a rock is just a rock
- Realistic textures in a cartoony game
- New tracks that belong in 2011
- Oh look, another "Not Rainbow Road" course! What are the odds?
- Cars are supposed to drive on the entire course, but I don't want that, so... this is awkward
- Dark post-effects where you are required to wear night vision goggles to see what I've created
- This is not a cave; this is a hexagonal tunnel
And for the most important one
- Hey, maybe I just suck, but I'm going to blame the author for it anyway